What Veteran Moms Wish They Knew Sooner
Starting your homeschool journey is a whirlwind of excitement, curriculum catalogs, and maybe just a little bit of anxiety. You’ve made a big decision, and you want to do it right. But what does “right” even look like?
To cut through the noise, I gathered a panel of experienced homeschool moms—women who have been in the trenches for years.
I asked them one simple question: “What do you wish you knew before you started?”
Their answers are a masterclass in grace, flexibility, and perspective. Forget the color-coded schedules and Pinterest-perfect classrooms for a moment. This is the real, hard-won wisdom that will sustain you for the long haul.
This post, 10 Truths About Homeschooling, may contain affiliate links, which means Happy Hive Homeschooling may receive a commission, at no extra cost to you, if you purchase through a link. Please see our full disclosure for further information.
1. Homeschooling Is Not a Competition
It’s so easy to fall into the comparison trap. You see a friend’s child reading Shakespeare at age seven or another family’s elaborate science projects on social media, and that familiar whisper starts: Are we doing enough?
Mindset Shift:
Move from Comparison to Cultivation. Your goal isn’t to outperform the family next door or the feed on your phone. It’s to cultivate a love of learning in your unique child and nurture your family’s specific needs and goals.
Practical Tip:
Curate your social media feed ruthlessly. Unfollow accounts that trigger anxiety or comparison. Write down your family’s “why” for homeschooling and tape it inside a kitchen cabinet. When doubt creeps in, reread it. Celebrate your child’s personal progress—mastering a tricky math concept or falling in love with a new book series is the real win.
2. You Don’t Have to “Keep Up” with the Curriculum
That 36-week curriculum guide can feel like a relentless taskmaster. If you get sick or take an impromptu field trip, you can feel like you’re falling “behind” schedule. There is no “behind” in homeschooling. You are right where you’re supposed to be.
Mindset Shift:
From Curriculum Slave to Curriculum Master. The curriculum is a tool, not your boss. You are the expert on your child. You are in charge.
Practical Tip:
View your curriculum as a buffet, not a pre-plated meal. Take what serves you and leave the rest. Is a chapter boring or redundant? Skip it. Is your child fascinated by a topic? Spend three weeks on it instead of one. The goal is mastery and interest, not checking boxes.
3. Keep It Simple (You Don’t Need All the Things)
The homeschool market is flooded with beautiful planners, expensive manipulatives, and the “latest and greatest” curriculum. It’s tempting to believe that having the right stuff will guarantee success.
Mindset Shift:
From Consumer to Curator. Your role is not to accumulate supplies, but to thoughtfully select a few high-quality resources that truly serve your family.
Practical Tip:
Especially in the first few years, start with the absolute basics: a solid math program, a good language arts approach, and a library card. The library is your best friend!
Use household items for manipulatives—dried beans for counting, LEGOs for fractions.
Before making a big purchase, wait a few months to see if the need is real or just a fleeting desire.
Check out my curriculum recommendations, or feel free to book a FREE call, and I can help you!
4. You Are a Student of Your Student
You can spend months researching the perfect educational philosophy and curriculum, only to find your child absolutely hates it. Just when you think you’ve got their learning style pegged, their interests change overnight. Dinosaurs are out, and ninjas are in!
Mindset Shift:
From Finding the Perfect Method to Being a Student of Your Student. Your primary job is to observe, adapt, and learn who your child is right now.
Practical Tip:
Hold your plans loosely. If your child is suddenly obsessed with ninjas, lean into it! Use it to your advantage: read books about Japanese history, calculate the trajectory of a (foam) throwing star, write a story about a heroic ninja. Let their curiosity lead the way.
5. Homeschooling Is a Lifestyle, Not “School at Home”
One of the biggest mistakes new homeschoolers make is trying to replicate a traditional school schedule at home, complete with bells, rigid hours, and desks lined up in a row. This often leads to burnout and power struggles. Now, if you hang out in the hive long enough, you will hear me say: “There’s no wrong way to homeschool.” – and that includes using school-at-home methods that work.
Mindset Shift:
From “School at Home” to “A Lifestyle of Learning.” Embrace the freedom to let learning happen organically, everywhere.
Practical Tip:
Broaden your definition of “school.” Baking a cake together is math and chemistry. A trip to the grocery store is a lesson in budgeting and nutrition. A nature walk is science class. Listening to an audiobook in the car is literature. Learning happens on vacation, at the park, and during conversations at the dinner table. Every day is a school day, and everything is learning!
6. Ditch the Lesson Plans, Keep a Log
The pressure to plan out every single lesson for the week or month ahead can be paralyzing. And more often than not, life—a sick toddler, a beautiful day, a spontaneous learning tangent—derails those perfect plans.
Mindset Shift:
From Forward-Planner to Backward-Recorder. Instead of stressing about what you will do, simply document the amazing things you did.
Practical Tip:
Keep a simple notebook on the counter. At the end of each day, take five minutes to jot down what you accomplished. For example: “Read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, practiced multiplication facts on the whiteboard, watched a documentary on ancient Egypt, built a fort.”
This “daily debrief” becomes a powerful record of progress and helps you see where your child’s interests are naturally leading.
7. Taking Care of Yourself Is Job Number One
As a homeschool parent, you are the CEO, teacher, principal, guidance counselor, and janitor. It is an all-consuming role, and burnout is real. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
Mindset Shift:
From Self-Sacrifice to Self-Preservation. Caring for yourself isn’t selfish; it’s the most essential part of your homeschool’s success. A rested, happy parent is a better teacher.
Practical Tip:
Schedule time for yourself with the same seriousness you schedule math lessons. Protect your sleep. Trade childcare with another homeschool parent so you can have a few hours of uninterrupted time. Don’t feel guilty about using a screen time “quiet hour” so you can reset. Check out this post for self-care ideas you can do with the kids!
Need more? Check out these 11 Self Care Tips from Tina at She Welcomes Wellness.
8. You Actually DO Have Enough Patience
“I could never homeschool; I don’t have the patience for it.” The moms I surveyed agreed that this is the number one thing they hear from others.
They want you to know a secret: No one starts with enough patience. You grow it.
Mindset Shift:
From “I Lack Patience” to “I Can Cultivate Patience.” Patience isn’t a personality trait you either have or don’t. It’s a muscle you strengthen through practice, perspective, and a whole lot of grace.
Practical Tip:
Identify your triggers. Is it the whining? The endless questions during a math lesson? Have a reset plan. It’s okay to say, “Mommy needs a 10-minute quiet break. Everyone to their rooms.” Remember that you are building a relationship, not just covering a subject. The patience you cultivate will serve your family far beyond the lesson book.
9. It’s Okay to Change Your Mind
Choosing to homeschool doesn’t mean you’ve signed a contract in blood. Life changes, kids change, and your family’s needs change. Don’t die on the homeschooling sword out of pride.
Sending my daughters to high school was equal parts the best and most difficult decision I’ve made.
Mindset Shift:
From “Homeschooling is the Only Way” to “Homeschooling is the Best Choice for this Season.”
Practical Tip:
Evaluate your homeschool choice on a year-by-year basis. What worked for kindergarten might not work for middle school. What’s best for one child may not be best for another. Sending a child to a public or private school isn’t a failure; it’s parenting. It’s making the best decision for your child with the information you have right now.
10. There Is No “Ahead” or “Behind”
The concepts of “ahead” and “behind” are artificial constructs of the traditional school system, designed to manage large groups of children. They have very little to do with your individual child’s development.
Mindset Shift:
From Following a Timeline to Following the Child. Every child, regardless of where they are schooled, is on their own unique developmental path.
Practical Tip:
Embrace the “asynchronous” learner. It is perfectly normal for a child to be working at a 5th-grade level in reading and a 3rd-grade level in math. This is one of the greatest gifts of homeschooling—you can meet them exactly where they are in every subject. Trust the process. Your child is right where they need to be.
The Journey Is the Destination
Ultimately, the wisdom from these veteran moms points to one powerful truth: successful homeschooling is less about perfect execution and more about a posture of the heart. It’s about choosing connection over competition, progress over perfection, and your family’s unique rhythm over any external expectation.
So, to the parent feeling overwhelmed by the curriculum catalogs and the pressure to get it right, take a deep breath. You don’t need a flawless plan or infinite patience. You simply need to be present, willing to learn alongside your children, and ready to extend grace—to them and, most importantly, to yourself. You already have exactly what it takes to make this journey a beautiful one for your family.
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Content on Happy Hive Homeschooling is shared for educational and inspirational purposes. There’s no wrong way to homeschool. Please use your own judgment and provide appropriate supervision when adapting ideas for your family or classroom.